


An Indulgent Proposal

by turnyourankle



Category: Mindless Self Indulgence
Genre: Banter, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-18
Updated: 2008-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 09:22:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4823648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turnyourankle/pseuds/turnyourankle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Non-sensical banter featuring Mindless Self Indulgence. Gen, with some pretty crude humor thrown in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Indulgent Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> Fic amnesty of sorts. Non-sensical banter featuring Mindless Self Indulgence. Gen, with some pretty crude humor thrown in. ~800 words. Unbeta'd. Feedback is, as always, very welcome and appreciated.

  
"Listen listen listen listen--" Jimmy tugged on both of Lyn's pigtails, his fingers forming fists as they wrapped all the way around the sprigs of hair.

"What?"

"I think it's time for a potty break." Jimmy stopped pulling Lyn's hair but didn't let go, grip still tight.

"I guess it's a good thing we've got one 5 feet away." Kitty kept her mouth open as she chewed her gum, eyes still fixed on her laptop screen.

"Are you asking me to use that?"

"No. No she isn't." Kitty flipped Steve off without looking in his direction. He stuck out his tongue.

"Why don't you go bust the drivers ass if you want a pit stop. He has a ponytail you can pull." Lyn said, she rocked in her seat in an attempt to shake Jimmy's grip.

"It's more fun with two." Jimmy punctuated each word with a tug, and Lyn groaned and rolled her eyes.

"But his reaction is more fun, isn't it? I can smack you up and down the entire bus but he has to try while keeping this baby on the road." Jimmy's eyes lit up at Kitty's words.

"And I bet he'd be willing to trade some sexual favors," Lyn added.

"Touché," Jimmy said, and bounced off the back of Lyn's seat.

 

 

*

 

 

"I'm starting to think Swift had a point," Steve said. He'd fudged two expert sudokus and finished a crossword puzzle in the time the bus had stood still. And he wasn't fast.

Kitty didn't stop typing, but she glanced at Lyn briefly.

"I'll bite," Lyn said, resting her chin on her palm. "Do share."

"The baby eating for population control. Except I'm thinking noxious lead singers would do better on the market. Imagine getting to brag about who you ate last without being a groupie? I bet the haters would pay a lot to get their hands on Jimmy, too."

"I don't think we're that strapped for cash just yet," Kitty piped in, "but I think we can file this in the Plan B folder. Doesn't really top the sex-slave idea, though."

"There's not exactly much of Jimmy to offer, you know," Lyn said, sounding skeptical. She rubbed her knuckles against her chin.

"But skinny stuff's a delicacy; the less there is the more you can charge, right? There's only one Jimmy in the world--"

"Thank God," Kitty interrupted with a snort.

"--so it's like he's an endangered species. And that stuff sells for a fortune."

"Right. But we still need a singer. And it didn't exactly work for Swift. Right? I think we'd have heard more about it if it had..."

"Ah, but Ebay didn't exist in the eighteenth century." Steve cocked his head.

Lyn shrugged, and Kitty double clicked on one of her desktop folders. "Plan B it is!"

 

 

*

 

 

"Look what I lifted!" Jimmy beamed, letting go of his rolled up shirt and spilling out bags of candy and snacks onto the table.

"Nice catch." Steve bit into a pack of beef jerky, spit out the plastic and started chewing on a rope of meat. He made sure to chew loudly; he smacked his lips and kept his mouth as open as possible. "Is 'lift' a code word for 'bought' now?"

"My bet's with 'flashed the cashier." Lyn said. "And the dude gave him this to stop."

"If I did that I'd be bent over in some unstable dingy staff room table, not here with you guys."

"God, what did we say about mental images Jimmy?" Lyn frowned.

"Hey, Urine, did you get ass knocked up too, or is that our piggy bank in your pants?"

"Trick question. What's in my pants _is_ our piggy bank."

"You've mistaken your eggs and sausage with mine."

"Oh no you didn't." Jimmy struck a mock-karate stance, circling his flattened palms in the air. Steve shook his shoulders and imitated Jimmy's stance.

"I think there's a cat fight on the way," Kitty said, and moved her laptop away from the table.

Lyn sighed loudly. "Hey! We're all grown ups aren't we?"

They all looked at Lyn. Steve and Kitty answered simultaneously: "No," "Nein." Both had a look of disbelief on their face. "Was that rhetorical?" Kitty added. Jimmy just raised an eyebrow. Lyn clicked her tongue at the response; pleased.

"Alright. Good, then I call dibs on the fucking Reese's." The bag crinkled in her fist, and made a sharp sound as she snapped it open.

"What!"

"No way!"

"I have a peanut butter deficiency, you know those are mine! I put my _virtue_ on the line, my sweet, snow-white innocence."

"So, basically, it cost you nothing." Steve hadn't changed position, pointing at Jimmy with his entire hand.

"Too late. I called dibs, bitches." Lyn unwrapped a cup and scrunched the foil into a tiny ball. She closed one eye as she aimed a shot between Jimmy's eyes.

Jimmy dodged the shot and grabbed her ponytails again, chanting, "Listen listen listen--" 


End file.
